I grew up in an Evangelical Christian household. If you had asked me how that was 15 years ago, I would have had a lot of criticism for the faith. I would have had a lot of anger for the faith. It had been a faith I had thoroughly rejected. Not just Evangelical Christianity, but all of Christianity.
If you had asked me at the time why I had rejected the faith, I would probably have repeated the rhetoric put forth by the New Atheist movement. It was an abusive religion. It preyed on people. It cherry picked scripture. It was all about power. I had been angry, but I also had had many questions, and atheist writers seemed to have the answers I was looking for, and justification for the way I was feeling.
Looking back, while I truly did have questions, the main motivation for my criticism, and for the loss of faith in my teenage years, was rebellion. It’s a rebellion many have experienced. A rebellion individuals like C.S. Lewis or Sigmund Freud had. Both would rebel against the religions of their father’s; for Lewis that was against Christianity, for Freud it was Judaism.
It wasn’t just a rejection of their father’s religion though, it was a rebellion in part against their fathers themselves. Lewis would eventually come back to the faith, and become one of the great English apologists. Freud never would find that path back, even though it was something he would struggle with for the rest of his life.
The sort of rebellion and rejection I went though wasn’t uncommon, but unlike Freud, and more in line with Lewis, I eventually found my way back into the faith. A big reason for that is because like Lewis, I found my own way back. I found that the answers I thought I had under the New Atheist movement didn’t hold up, and I discovered the actual answers I was looking for in deeper study.
This is a process many go through. Kids rebel, they get angry, they reject and challenge the ideas they are raised with. And often, they lose the faith they grew up with whether completely, or partially. It’s a major struggle, that gets piled on with additional challenges and questions.
And waiting with answers for these individuals are often those who will continue tearing down that faith. Because the manner in which many Christians approach this just doesn’t work, as the foundation they are working with is what is being questioned. Reading the Bible, just having faith, relying on Christian dogma falls flat as many of the questions that are being posed are challenging those facets.
Instead, what appears to be the best answers, the most intellectual responses are posed by atheist writers who are intent on tearing faith down. The arguments the pose seem rational, and they justify what the person is feeling. Often, this ends up leading to even more anger, and resentment, as that person now feels even more like they have been abused and taken advantage of.
For me, that led me down a path of what I call militant atheism. It wasn’t just that I lacked faith, but that faith was irrational, and a detriment to society. It was dangerous, and thus it needed to be taken down. And within this movement, all the questions I had had seemed to be answered.
But it was a farce. The answered offered were shallow, and never actually held up. They were easy answers, readily available. But they lacked substance. Finding actual substance that made sense was much harder. For me, finding the answers I needed led me down a path of academia; going to college for religions studies, for theology. It meant diving into the scholarship, listening to lectures, seeking out experts, engrossing myself in my studies.
All the answers I had sought were there. The information I had needed in order to form rebuttals against the previous “answers” I had been given was at my fingertips. Things I thought were issues, like the supposed missing books of the Bible no longer were actual issues, as the why was explained in a manner that made sense, and that could be supported.
It was exactly what I needed in order to find my way to the Christian faith, and to be secure in it. But it wasn’t something that was readily accessible. The path I took isn’t one for most people. It doesn’t make sense for most people. It was where I felt called to, but that was just me. And the fact is, when looking for answers, it’s not the one most will chose, because there are those who will give them much easier answers that are so much more readily available.
The issue is that there is a disconnect between academia and the general public. There is a void there that these individuals involved in academia aren’t attempting to fill, and instead, others have filled it themselves. This leads to mass amounts of misinformation, and misunderstandings, that end up running rampant.
The purpose of this mission is to help correct that, and extend a hand to those who are struggling with their faith, and can’t find the answers they need. To help build a bridge between academia and faith. My goal is to help reach those on the margins, or near the margins, and give them the resources they need to make informed decisions about their own faith. So as to not lead them to the faith, but to help them find their own path.